|
Post by Ghost in the Flesh on Sept 20, 2011 9:54:04 GMT -5
Maybe it was inappropriate for a first date but if there's a maze on the menu I'm asking for crayons
I think holding hands should be reserved for teenage couples and guys standing next to each other at urinals. Anyone else and its weird.
Getting a tattoo of 2 clowns jumping rope on my chest so I don't weird anyone out at the beach next year.
Nervous in a social situation? Quickly say as much stuff as you can to whoever is looking at you and then pass out. Problem solved.
When I encounter a challenging situation my positivity says,"everything 's going to be alright." Quicky followed uo by my negativity saying "good fucking luck.
I only watch football in hopes ill hear Al Michaels say "OH! looks like Tom Brady is Dead. His head is literally detached from his body".
If you can remember breast feeding, your mom fucked up big time.
My pizza delivery guy won't leave. It's like, fuck buddy, just chew through the ropes, rip off the mask, wrestle away the knife, grab your things and get out.
I'm old enough to talk about Biggie Smalls the same way my parents talk about Steely Dan. Kill me.
Everyone raves about "rain shower heads" but I stand outside nude during an actual rain storm & suddenly I'm a sex offender? 100% horseshit.
|
|
|
Post by Jenesis_Bitchfire on Sept 20, 2011 12:44:34 GMT -5
Ha...interesting.
|
|
|
Post by SpoBo86 on Sept 20, 2011 16:23:05 GMT -5
LMAO!!!!! OMG!!!! Those are so awesome... Love it!!!!
|
|
|
Post by Ghost in the Flesh on Sept 22, 2011 1:10:46 GMT -5
They say when life gives you lemons…. but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
I'd like to take this time to encourage each & every one of you to become Orgasm Donors. It's a most fulfilling & satisfying experience.
|
|
|
Post by Ghost in the Flesh on Sept 22, 2011 1:11:40 GMT -5
Religion: An atheist cures cancer and goes to Hell and a Christian microwaves a bag of Cheetos and goes to Heaven.
|
|
|
Post by fireangel75 on Sept 27, 2011 21:06:34 GMT -5
I always want to steal your posts, lol!
|
|
|
Post by Ghost in the Flesh on Oct 5, 2011 22:32:28 GMT -5
Go for it
|
|
|
Post by spooktacular on Oct 6, 2011 14:21:31 GMT -5
LMAO!
|
|
|
Post by plasmasprayer on Oct 21, 2011 15:16:39 GMT -5
“There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.”
Good stuff Mr. Flesh! Keep up the evil, ah...GOOD work!
|
|